No One Will Marry Me Now!
by Nate Grey
Summary: After "The Incident" at the school festival, Mio thought she was ruined for life. Her four band mates prove her wrong, as only they can.


Notes: What's really great about this anime is that there are NO male characters, at all. Not with names, anyway. Except Ritsu's brother, but we all know HE doesn't matter. So it's virtually impossible to stick any of the girls with a guy. And even if you could, well, why would you bother?

Summary: After "The Incident" at the school festival, Mio thought she was ruined for life. Her four band mates prove her wrong, as only they can.

Pairings: MioAzu, YuiAzu, MioAzuYui, YuiMugi, RitMio (kinda)

* * *

**No One Will Marry Me Now!**

**A K-ON! Oneshot by**

**Nate Grey (xman0123-at-aol-dot-com)**

* * *

Getting Azusa into the band, and then actually keeping her there, had been a very close thing. Mio had tried to stress to the others to take it slow with their new member, or they might risk driving her away. She had thought they'd understood.

Even within their little group, Mio had noticed that the girls tended to pair up quite a bit. Mugi was always happy to be with anyone, of course, but more often than not, Yui and Ritsu ended up together, if only because no one else in the group could quite land on the same wavelength as Yui so consistently.

But even Yui had gone out of her way to make Azusa feel welcome, and Mio had done the same. At first, it was just for the sake of improving the band, but Mio quickly found that she genuinely liked Azusa, and the feeling seemed to be mutual.

And then Sawako had ruined all of Mio's hard work by showing Azusa the recording of the school festival performance.

To say that Azusa looked at Mio differently after that was a HUGE understatement. Almost every time that their eyes met, Azusa would blush and quickly look away. Oddly enough, Mio was more upset about the change in Azusa's behavior than she was about the recording. She was not one to make friends easily, and she'd had high hopes for her friendship with Azusa. But things only became more uncomfortable between them, until one day when Azusa called Mio at home and asked if she could come over. Mio's first and greatest fear was that Azusa might be trying to leave the band again, so she tried to postpone it by saying she was busy. But Azusa kept insisting that it was important, and Mio finally gave in, preparing herself for the worst.

* * *

Azusa had never been more nervous in her life, but it was too late to turn back now. She had already knocked on Mio's front door, and trying to run now would just make her look silly.

All too soon, the door opened, and Mio was standing there, looking just as, if not more uncomfortable.

"Azusa... so you're here," Mio said quietly, staring at the ground.

"Mio-senpai, I... I really need to talk to you about some things, so-"

"Please don't quit the band!" Mio cried abruptly, her eyes filling with tears as she grabbed the smaller girl's shoulders. "We need you!"

Azusa stared at her in shock. "What? I'm not quitting! What made you think that?"

The blood drained from Mio's face. "You... you're not? But... on the phone, you made it sound like... so I thought that..." She wobbled on her feet, and then started to tilt to one side.

"Mio-senpai!" Azusa gasped, barely managing to catch her in time. "You worried yourself sick over this, didn't you? I'm sorry!"

"But it's okay now," Mio said, offering a weak smile as Azusa dragged her inside. "You're not leaving us. I'm so relieved..."

"Then why did you faint?!" Azusa demanded, wincing as she struggled to prop Mio up against the doorframe. "You're heavy, senpai..."

* * *

Across the street from Mio's house, there was a small bush. Three heads were currently poking out of the top of it.

"I can't believe Azu-nyan and Mio-chan are having a secret meeting without us!" Yui whined.

"Well, it wouldn't really be a secret meeting if we were there," Mugi explained, smiling hesitantly as Ritsu bopped Yui on the head.

"I say we bust in there and grab the two traitors!" Ritsu shouted, shaking her fist.

"But we don't even know why they're meeting," Mugi protested. "It could be perfectly innocent. They could be exchanging hairstyles."

Ritsu looked sorely disappointed, while Yui puffed out her lips, obviously wishing she'd had the chance to try Azusa's hairstyle first.

"Then again," Mugi murmured, her eyes turning to hearts, "maybe this is just one of their many passionate trysts!" She sighed happily, and was completely unresponsive when Ritsu poked her a few times.

"I know!" Yui cried, quickly regaining her enthusiasm. "I'll go in first, and if I see anything that I'm not sure about, I'll call Mugi-chan in! And if they're really doing something bad, then she'll call Ricchan!"

"That's... actually a pretty good idea, Yui," Ritsu agreed. "But no matter what, you two better not leave me out of the loop!"

"Don't worry, we won't!" Yui assured her, waving as she backed out into the road, and very nearly got hit by a passing car.

"Maybe we should rethink this," Ritsu groaned as Yui scrambled onto the opposite side of the street, panting for air and eyes wide.

* * *

Mio's room was just as neat as Azusa had expected. That didn't make Mio any lighter, though, and after having dragged her all the way upstairs, Azusa felt no guilt at all about dumping her onto the bed without anything even resembling a hint of grace.

"Thanks, Azusa," Mio sighed, still looking rather limp. "But, um, if you're not here to quit the band, then why?"

Azusa suddenly became quiet. "I wanted to talk to you... about what happened at the school festival..."

The little color that had returned to Mio's face quickly fled again. "Do we have to?"

"Mugi-senpai told me what you said, and... it's not true!"

Mio blinked slowly and sat up. "What are you talking about?"

"You're not ruined, Mio-senpai!" Azusa shouted. "Because... because.... if you'd have me, I'd... I'D STILL MARRY YOU!" As she said the last part, she flung herself at Mio, clinging to her neck and burying her face in Mio's shoulder.

Mio went rigid as Azusa began to cry into her shirt. "That's... why you wanted to talk to me? But... you saw... everyone saw them... my p-p-p-panties..."

"It doesn't matter!" Azusa snapped. "Even if no one else wanted you, I still would!"

There was a long pause, and then Mio gently began to stroke Azusa's hair. "Do you really mean that? Or did the other girls put you up to this? They were worried, weren't they?"

"No! I'm only here for me!" Azusa lifted her head and gazed into Mio's eyes. "Mio-senpai, I... I really like you a lot, so... please don't say you're ruined. I like you just the way you are, with or without panties!"

There was an even longer pause, and then Azusa turned beet red as she realized what she'd just said.

"S-Sorry!" Azusa apologized. "I just meant that-"

"I know," Mio whispered, placing a finger over Azusa's lips. "And I like you, too. Maybe not as much as you do me, but... I'm willing to try."

Azusa's eyes widened, and she reached up to cup Mio's face in her hands, slowly drawing their faces closer...

...that is, until Yui ran into the room and shouted, "NOOOOOO!!! Azu-nyan, how could you?!"

Azusa and Mio instantly jerked apart. "Yui?! What-"

"You CAN'T!" Yui wailed, racing forward and shoving them away from each other. Then she scooped up a badly startled Azusa and carried her to the other end of the bed, rocking her like a rather large baby. "Azu-nyan is mine! You can't have her, Mio-chan!"

Mio blinked slowly, still trying to figure out the direction of Yui's thoughts (never an easy task, and certainly not when she was upset). "Wait, you two are...?"

"No!" Azusa cried, wincing when Yui shot her a hurt look. "I-I mean, at least, we never talked about it!"

"We shouldn't have to! You should just know! That's the power of our love!" Yui pouted, cuddling her closer.

Mio's face fell. "Yui, you... you really love her?"

"Of course I do!" Yui paused and glanced between them. "But, if Mio-chan and Azu-nyan really want to be together, then..."

Azusa gasped happily. "Yui-senpai, you'd really-?"

"I guess we can share my Azu-nyan!" Yui concluded, drawing enormous sweat drops from the other girls.

"HEY!" Azusa cried, blushing as she smacked Yui's cheek. "I-I mean, I'm okay with that, but still! At least ask me first!"

"Does it matter, as long as we get to be together?" Mio asked softly, walking over to grasp their hands.

"No, but I'm not a cat! You can't just decide what's going to happen to me!"

"Azu-nyan is just grumpy because she hasn't had her bath yet," Yui cooed, rubbing the top of Azusa's head. "Mio-chan, you know how kitties clean themselves, right?"

Mio blushed, only slightly relieved to see Azusa doing the same. "Yui, we can't do that! W-We haven't even kissed yet!"

"Oh, you're right!" And before Azusa could argue, Yui leaned in close and licked her right across her lips. "Kitty kiss, Azu-nyan!"

Azusa was far too embarrassed to utter any kind of response. But she quickly rediscovered her voice when she noticed Mugi and Ritsu in the doorway with digital cameras. "NOOOO!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Beautiful," Mugi sighed, practically floating into the room. "It's your turn now, Mio-chan!"

"HEY! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!" Azusa shouted. She quieted when Mio cupped her cheek, though.

"Don't worry," Mio whispered. "We can start with a normal kiss, if you want..."

"O-Okay..."

"TIME OUT!" Ritsu shouted, shoving them apart. "If anyone's going to get a girl kiss, it's Mugi! She needs it bad!"

"What?!" Mugi cried. "N-No! I'm just happy for them! I don't want-"

"Get her, Yui!"

Mugi shrieked as Yui dumped Azusa in Mio's lap and then pounced, dragging the blond girl over to the bed. "Wait! Please! I really didn't want mmmmmm!" Any other protests she had were quickly devoured by Yui's lips.

Mio and Azusa were practically covered in sweat drops by now. "She never stood a chance..."

"Well, you're all a fine bunch of traitors!" Ritsu announced. "Trying to exclude your band leader! You should all be severely punished!"

Mio gasped. "Wait, Ritsu! You can't-"

"I GET MIO TO MYSELF ON THE WEEKENDS!!!"

"...WHAT?!" Mio shrieked, flying across the room and pounding Ritsu's head with her fists. "How dare you?! What makes you think I'd even WANT to be with you?!"

"See how it feels when people do that," Azusa muttered. Then she sighed. "But Mio-senpai is even more beautiful when she's angry."

"Especially when she's got blood on her hands!" Yui added cheerfully.

Mugi laughed uneasily. "Um, we should probably stop her now..."

"I've got just the thing!" Yui giggled. "Mio-chan, kitty kiss!"

"NO!" Azusa shouted, blushing when Mugi and Yui stared at her. "I-I mean, you can't, Yui-senpai. I'm the only one you can do that to..."

"Hee hee, Azu-nyan is a jealous kitty!" Yui laughed, tickling the smaller girl.

Mio finally got tired of swinging her fists and dragged Ritsu's body over to the bed. "So now what?" she asked, panting slightly.

"Well," Mugi said slowly, "we could always invite Ui-chan, Nodoka-san, and Sawa-chan sensei. I can have someone pick them up right away!"

"Mugi-chan, that's a really good idea!" Yui gasped. She pouted at Azusa. "Don't you think she at least deserves a kitty kiss for that, Azu-nyan?"

"No," Azusa said firmly, "and if you keep asking, Mio-senpai will be giving me my next one, instead of you!"

"Noooo, Azu-nyan! Love Yui again!" Yui wailed, crying all over her.

"Get off! You're like a sprinkler!"

Mio glanced over at Mugi, who was already ordering a limo on her cell phone, and sighed, managing a weary smile. "No one will marry me now, for sure... but maybe, that's okay...?"

**The End.**

* * *

Endnotes:

Eh heh heh, be happy. The first idea was Sawako blackmailing Azusa into staying in the band by offering her Mio's panties. The second was Mugi seducing the girls one by one with drugged cakes. Which isn't to say someone else can't do them, just that I couldn't manage to devote the proper time to them. Though some might argue that's a good thing…

To avoid confusion, if I have this right, Ritsu is club president, while Mio is the lead singer. Which is pretty odd, since Mio would be a better president than anyone else, and Yui would be a great lead singer if she could remember how to sing and play at the same time, all the time. But I suppose it doesn't matter, since Yui sings lead on the one song that I do like.


End file.
